Making a drama out of an identity crisis
When I think about my friends I often think about the characteristics they have which I would like for myself. I define myself by them and by what I lack in comparison. So I envy my sister's artistic talent, Georgie's integrity and practicality, Sophie's compassion and motivation, Simon's career success, George's mental ability, Cat's emotional openness, Clarissa's creative energy, Wags' intellectual curiosity, Anna's fearlessness...
I was hit by the realisation this morning that I would probably be happier if I just appreciated and admired my friends instead of comparing myself unfavourably with them. And if I spent more time taking pleasure in the fact that all these great people have chosen to be friends with ME.
I might still be a way off from finding and being comfortable with my own identity, but it's a start. (And the above post may not seem to have anything to do with writing, or parenting, or anything, but I don't think I can regain my voice as a writer until I have regained some confidence as a person.)
Weeks: 16+1
Labels: feelings
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